Thank you guys so much for all the love on my first post!! I’m glad to be amongst my Kingdom family. Now that we’re acquainted, let me take my wig off and get comfortable :)
When they were safely out of the city, one of the angels ordered “Run for your lives! And don’t look back or stop anywhere in the valley! Escape to the mountains, or you will be swept away!” - Genesis 19:17 [bold and italics added for emphasis]

Written November 08, 2024
Today God ate me all the way up (with so much love), so of course I had to let you guys get in on the convictions.
It’s day one of a much needed 3 day fast. I’ve felt so distracted and full of obvious disobedience. God has been speaking to me constantly about the comforts and familiarities He is requiring me to let go of. By law, if you want to experience something new you have to be willing to allow something old to perish. It’s a truth we can’t escape, yet we do everything in our power to wiggle around it. Find loopholes. Make compromises.
The thing that I have come to love about the Bible is that whenever you think something is too hard/impossible to be obedient to, you can turn to any page and see you’re not the first person God has required this of. Hence the main characters of today’s musings: the infamous Lot and his incredibly annoying dysfunctional family.
But before I get too much on to them, let me pump my breaks. God showed me that I’m not that much different from them. If the Bible is anything, it’s a mirror. You just have to be willing to look at yourself staring back at you.
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our inner-most thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes, and He is the one whom we are accountable. - Hebrews 4:12-13
I recently heard a pastor say “How often do you read the Bible and take on the perspective of the victim instead of the villain?” My response was “oop” (this has become my telltale sign that someone has now gotten into my spiritual business). I’m glad I was only watching on YouTube instead of actually being in the midst because I might would’ve had to dip out with the respectable church exit. Index finger pointed up, and head bowed. As convicting as it was, I couldn’t deny it was an amazing question. One that needed to be answered.

As he asked his congregation this question he began to list out different characters in the Bible who made terrible mistakes. These mistakes either cost them their lives, their peace of mind, or just solidified how evil they were. The roster included the Israelites, Judas, Delilah, and, the woman of the hour, Lot’s Wife.
If you don’t know about ‘ole girl biblically, I’m sure you’ve heard her referenced in Chance’s Ultralight Beam verse. But, to echo Mr. the Rapper, THIS IS MY PART NOBODY ELSE SPEAK. God gave me a revelation about this story. I don’t think Lot’s wife is the only culprit here.
Lot, come to the front. IMMEDIATELY.
There’s a sound on TikTok that was taken from a sermon by Evangelist Christine Caine where she talks about the importance of Lot’s wife in the Bible. She says, “There’s 170 women that are either mentioned by name or alluded to in scripture, but there is only one woman Jesus ever tells us to remember.” The woman? Mrs. Lotty Dotty.
Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
Remember what happened to Lot’s wife! If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it. -Luke 17:32-33.
Now obviously Jesus had a valid reason for bringing her up. Clearly she’s memorable because a lot of people know the implications of her grave mistake. Looking back into her past when she was ordered not to, killed her.
As a woman I think it’s natural to look at Lot’s wife and say “I don’t need to be like her”. This is true, or Jesus wouldn’t have made and example out of her. Whenever I would hear this story I would always base the source of my revelation on her because of my gender. Howeverrrrr, there’s a man that I needed to see myself in as well.
For whatever reason today when I was reading this story, Lot was really getting on my nerves. If you know Lot’s track record in Genesis, he’s already been extremely problematic up to this point. He’s constantly needing to be saved.
Turn with me, saints, to Genesis 19.
Once God decided that He was going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, He chose to spare Lot and his family because Abraham (Lot’s uncle) asked God to let them live. God graciously agrees and sends some of his angels to tell Lot and his family they need to get up out of there before S&G is destroyed.
Let me tell you why Lot really grinded my gears:
He hesitated to leave to the point where the angels had to yoke him and his family up and force them out (v. 16)
Lot didn’t want to escape to safety (the mountains), so he decided to stay in a town that was adjacent to the sinful environment he had been living in (v. 20).
He made up some stupid excuse as to why he couldn’t go where God wanted him to go (v. 19)
HE ENDED UP GOING TO MOUNTAINS ANYWAY because he was scared of the people in the town he chose to live in (v. 30)
Now, I don’t know about you, but when I pray to God I’m trying to get into all the tea. I’m very candid with my heavenly Father. I’m trying to figure out “what does your boy Lot have going on, because he is tripping”. Here came my “oop” because Jesus clocked me real quick.
Now before I get into the revelation, I must tell you that I specifically wanted to read this story today so I could feel the conviction of what Lot’s wife did. God didn’t even let me get that far. He was like “baby, that’s not even the conviction you need to get today.”
The revelation in a nutshell: You’re not Lot’s wife, you’re Lot.
How many times have I needed God to come save me? How many times have I made compromises that led me to partial obedience? How many times have I prioritized comfort over deliverance and God’s blessings? How many times have I made excuses for not answering God’s call?


In verse 17 of this chapter the angels tell Lot and his family that they shouldn’t look back OR stop. We get so caught up in the looking back part because Lot’s wife died while everyone else was still able to move on. Everyone, even people who aren’t spiritual/religious, know that going backwards can only harm you. It’s not rocket science to understand that there are some things you need to leave in your past. I feel like we don’t spend enough time talking about the stopping part, though.
Lot stopped when he hesitated and he stopped when he chose to stay in that town instead of going forward to the mountains. God revealed to me that Lot wasn’t a stupid, dysfunctional man. He was a man that was scared of yet another new beginning. Not much different than me.
Lot already left all that he had ever known to travel with his uncle Abraham to a land God didn’t reveal to them until they got there. Then he had to separate from his uncle because there wasn’t enough space for both of them on the land they were occupying. Then you tell him another home will be taken from him? I might would’ve drug my feet, too.
Who am I kidding. I’m dragging my feet now.
Sodom and Gomorrah may have been a place full of sin, but Lot and his family had settled there. It was the first time in a long time that they felt like they had a grip on life. To have to walk away from what is comfortable is scary, and a little unsettling. We can know that certain environments/relationships/mindsets are toxic, but if it’s comfortable, who wants to leave?
Lot showed me that sometimes the best way to get to God is to go forward. No matter how scary it gets.
The most beautiful thing about this story is that God kept his promise to Abraham and never destroyed Lot. Even in his hesitation and disobedience. Why did the Lord do that? The Bible says, “for the LORD was merciful” (v. 16).
Mercy definitions
a. when God, out of His loving kindness, withholds punishment that we rightfully deserve because of our sin- Ethnos360 Bible Institute
b. compassionate treatment for those in distress - Merriam Webster
These definitions show us that (1) God could have wiped Lotty out and (2) God showed compassion because Lot was clearly in distress.
God’s love is so great that He gives us mercy even in moments when He should probably smite us. We all need God’s mercy because none of us are perfect. I’ll never stop missing the mark, but I know that God will never stop helping me work through my messiness.
Next time I get annoyed by a biblical character I will humble myself before the Lord and ask Him to search my heart FIRST. All I know is I no longer want to be Lot or his pillar-of-salt wife. I’m trying to move forward. It’s time to get up outta here.

God, help us be humble enough to hear when and what you are speaking to us. Allow us to ask for help when we need it, and search our hearts when we don’t know how to ask. The newness of seasons can be challenging, but we want to lean on you. You are strong when we are weak. Help us to know that and walk boldly in this truth.
Amen
Revelation reflection: What do you feel like God is calling you to let go of in this season?
I am in awe at the way you add your personality to the Substack. Your creativity in infusing your personality into the truth of what you’re reading and reflecting on has inspired me to do better at not caring to be so polished on here and share more of my personality through writing. This post blessed me.
God is definitely calling me into a season of only focusing on His opinion of me, and not what the world or my friends or even my family think of me or label me as. I spent most of my life trying to please people and it got me nowhere. It got so bad that I kept losing friendships over and over again. I thought I was destined to be alone, but Lord said to seek Him in all things and I think the most important thing right now is that I take steps FORWARD to start seeing Him in everything. This post was the light in the dark, keep working, keep writing, keep following Jesus, He has clearly given you a gift (: